Why does reality like to sneak up on me and slap me in the face when I least expect it? Actually, I guess thats pretty much the case with all of us, huh?

The reality? I have an eleven year old son. This eleven year old boy is NOT a little boy anymore, with little-kid issues. He's a full-fledged sixth grader complete with all the *issues* he should be expected to have, I guess.

In a round-about way, quite a few thoughts and feelings came up in discussion yesterday, things I wasnt realizing he was thinking and feeling and understanding.

Things like "Mom, I'm nobody at school. I'm not cool like the popular kids and I'm not smart in math and I don't play sports. I just don't fit anywhere." 

Things like "I don't want to go to CCD anymore. Everything I learn here I already know from Sunday School with dad, and when I try to answer questions at CCD the teacher thinks I'm being a smarty-pants. But that is the only place I feel smart! I just don't know what I want to do!!!"

My little guy isn't so little. He is in that uncomfortable place in his growing-up years where nothing fits... not your clothes, not your friends, not your choices, not your likes or dislikes, not your feelings... nothing. I SO remember strugling with who I was, with who my friends were, with wanting to just fit in when in reality I really didn't. It hurts so much to see my buddy struggling with all of this right now... with all the things I want to protect him from... from all the hurt I know is out there. I KNOW that isn't possible. I know it isn't the right thing to do, anyway. But it just sucks, knowing and understanding exactly what he is going through.

I just want my buddy to be happy. I want to feel good about himself. I want him to feel like he belongs, that he has so much to offer and that he IS GOOD ENOUGH.

BECAUSE HE IS.

I'm not totally sure what to do, other than keep on talking about things, to keep communicating and listening and dealing with each day as it comes. Spend more time together. Keep promises. Hang in there.

I just know that I love my boy more than he knows...

Comments

[Kim Howard]

I struggle with the same things with my 9 yr old and have found myself defending him to a friend and bawling in front of him for how much he was hurting (ok. I was pregnant and hormonal at the time) but I have to say the best thing we can do as parents is being there to listen whenever they need to and assure them how important they are even when they think they aren't.

[JENNIFER]

I am sooo there with you x'2. Middle school and high school. Get him to find some options for his own nitch. Drawing, archery,build something together, colleting something. all you can do is listen and encourage. There will be so many more changes in the next few years, but keep doing what your doing. Keep the faith.

[janet m]

how lucky you are that he will come and talk to you - he knows you will listen. you are such a great mom and griffin is a lucky young man.

[breanne]

this made me cry. you're such a good mommy. i hope i'll be as good a mommy as you <3

[erin]

dude. this made me cry . . . a lot. i'm such a vagine lately :) but anyways, haha. you're pretty much the best mom i know. (don't tell my mom i said that!)

[EJ]

Eh girl you are a great mom and doing everything right with that wonderful boy of yours, you listen, talk, advise as and when necessary, spend time together and take each day as it comes. That is being a great parent and I have absolutely no doubt that Griff is well aware just how much you love him. Don't worry, 'cause he will pick up on that!!! Just be the great person you are!!!