judgemental.

judgemental = what I should NOT be.

Thursday night at the BBC was a bit slow, and I was itching to finish my shift and get home. At about 8:30,in walks "crazy lady", a woman I have never met. She is wandering around the dining room, looking for a "private" table. Which, of course, means she tries to sit at a dirty table in my section. I clear the table, get her a drink, and go about my business of trying to finish up my shift.

She is a bit "off", taking her sweet time eating her french onion soup and her swordfish special (and two long island iced teas). She is distant and just plain awkward.

One of the other servers tells me she has been in several times throughout the week to have dinner and watch the game on tv. Great, I think. This is gonna take all night...

She comments about the panko crusted fried green beans, and how she is from the south, and they have friend green tomatoes down there. She should bring this idea back with her, because it would be a hit.

She finishes her dinner.

I bring her check. $39.88. I expect a crappy tip, but thats ok because I'm heading home soon.

I'm munching on a little bit of dinner with Alison, waiting for the lady to pay up so I can peace out.

I check around the corner to see if she has fiddled with the bill yet.

She opens the book, and there is $40 on the right side of the book, and a $100.00 bill on the left side of the book. I assume the $40 is to cover the check, and she needs change for the $100. 

She tells me the $40 is to cover the check. As I am starting to ask what sort of change she would like for the $100, she tells me "This is for you".

I tell her that is extremely generous, but that I couldn't accept that much from her.

Then she tells me her story.

She is from Louisiana. She has been here in Falmouth all week. Her husband passed away, and a month later her 25 year old cat passed away. She had them both creamated. Her husband's wish was to have his ashes spread across the Atlantic Ocean. He grew up spending his summers on the Cape.

She had spent the day on a boat, spreading the ashes across the ocean.

This is why her hair is dishevled, and she looks like she's a bit "rough".

She is heading home early Friday morning. She is a retired lawyer and plans on traveling for a while.

She tells me that she wants to share some of the love she has experienced in her life with me.

I am in awe, and don't know what to say. I hold her hand for a minute and we talk about life, and how it sometimes brings us places we never thought we'd be.

And then she leaves.

And I am left feeling a tangle of emotions. I am guilty for having passed judgement on a woman I knew nothing about. I am amazed by the generosity of a stranger. I am compelled to share the story with everyone I know. I want to spread the love, too.

This comes on the heels of the chance meeting with my friend, Denise this week. A lot of inward thinking is happening with me right now. While there are many things that I have no control over in life, I can control how I think and feel about others, about the purpose I live my life with. I am thankful for the opportunities I have had this week to think about fate, to believe that there is a reason for everything.

Again, remember that what YOU say and do really does effect others...

Comments

[Kim Howard]

Melissa:

What a wonderful gesture and I'm sure that she deeply appreciated you taking the time to sit and talk with her and let her share her story. I had tears in my eyes reading this and knowing that I would have probably done the same thing as you.

[breanne]

this made me cry. what a beautiful story. and no one deserves a little bit of generosity more than you, my friend and the most generous person i know.

[Lydia Jackson]

I had a similiar experience when I was waitressing. It is good to be reminded sometimes that we are all just human, and that our humanity is a fragile thing. Congrats on becoming a part of the Core-dinations DT I am looking forward to working with you. I love what you did for your entry, you are my sunshine is beautiful, it looks so tactile, it makes you want to touch it.

[EJ]

A great gesture, it just goes to show never judge anyone without knowing them - or as my wonderful grandfather would say "never judge a book by it's cover". Your truly deserve such generosity.

[Dawn]

this made me cry...you just never know what someone else is feeling or going thru, do you? And there is a reason for everything...

[lesa]

Thank you for sharing. Priceless.

[jenn shurkus]

wow. what a fab story! (and a 25 year old cat.. i wish i met that cat.. he had watcher beat.)

[~liz]

Sweet